Spring is upon us and with it comes a feeling of renewal. You’re probably going to toss out some items you’ve got no use for to make way for all the new that’s coming in the warmer months. Spring brings a feeling of freshness, even cleanliness, so if you’re busy cleaning and freshening up your home, give some thoughts to your relationships. Are they mutually satisfying? Are some more troubled or troubling than they are uplifting? Relationships do take work. There’s no relationship that’s immune to some amount of trouble, but consider those people that fill you inwardly with dread.

Toxic people spread their maladjustment but don’t often see how their approaches to life are hurting them–and others. They’re also stuck in their patterns of behavior, and their patterns of behavior seldom change. You can’t change their behavior. Only they can change their own behavior.

Can you jettison some of the negativity in your life?

Here are some of the typical people who are mired in toxicity.

  • The Eternally Negative. Some people cope with life’s struggles by assuming the worst outcomes possible for everyone. They’ll dampen your enthusiasm and drain you of joy, hope, and peace. The person who’s always negative also kills motivation in themselves and others. Those who are around negative people tend to unconsciously become less positive themselves.
  • Gossipers. Everyone needs to vent, but gossips are always talking about others. The old saying, “If they’ll gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you” is true. Ultimately, gossipers enjoy putting people down and delight in the misfortunes of others. After all, have you ever noticed someone gossiping about the good fortune of someone else?
  • The Perpetual Victim. People who always seem to be the victim of terrible events are at first, easy to empathize with. We want to listen; we want to help when someone is having a bad time. But perpetual victims avoid taking responsibility. They always assign complete responsibility for the situation to others, over and over, and the perpetual victim lives by going from disaster to disaster. It’s not so much a circumstance as it is a lifestyle.
  • The Manipulator. They usually treat you well, but everything they do is part of an agenda. They’re never open about their motives. Manipulators enjoy playing others and don’t see it as a problem. They’re great actors, but make no mistake: they’re only interacting with you to use you.
  • The Malcontent. Nothing is ever good enough for a malcontent; they put down and insult everything. Instead of working for better, they stay in a situation they say they loathe but keep complaining. Malcontents are never happy for your successes; they’re envious and won’t hesitate to undercut you.

All of these kinds of people are at best big drains on your time and energy. More commonly they’re sooner or later going to actively work against your good mental health.

Damaris Aragon, ARNP, BC provides a full spectrum of mental health care to people in Spokane, Washington, and surrounding areas. She focuses on providing personalized, compassionate care that adheres to current evidence-based standards. Reach out to Damaris through her contact page or calling 509-342-6592.