Leave it to the internet and its rambunctious offspring, social media, to add new wrinkles in how people get their needs met. “Sadfishing,” a term created by writer Rebecca Reid in early 2019, refers to posting unhappy, highly emotional and personal content on social media for the purpose of getting support and sympathy from others. On the face of it, people reaching out to others for help sounds great, doesn’t it? Being honest and open about our feelings and our emotional state is what therapists recommend people do when they’re overwhelmed. But there’s another few layers to the phenomenon of sadfishing.
Sadfishing is problematic for several reasons, not the least of which relates to sadfishers exposing deeply personal content online to an often indiscriminate audience. Sharing with people who may be strangers opens people up to harsh criticism and jokes (“trolling”), or even bullying. This is particularly disturbing for young people, who have to face their critics in the school environment daily. Young people, especially adolescents, are already vulnerable to the judgement, real or imagined, of their peers.
For teens, oversharing can come with a backlash, causing some sadfishers to end up even more depressed and upset than previously. A recent report verified that young people who look for support online often end up feeling worse due to being criticized for “being fake” or “just wanting attention.”
Certainly, some people are exaggerating and others may be faking it, which leads to another issue: determining who really needs help, especially in adults. Although it’s perfectly natural to want attention at any age, it’s often hard to tell who is sadfishing merely for attention and who is sending out a clear signal for help. The former only wants attention; the latter genuinely needs assistance. These emotional posts may have deep significance for some, whereas for others, they’re trivial, perhaps even indicative of a psychological disorder, like histrionic personality disorder. Why is that an issue?
Adults with certain psychological disorders, like histrionic personality disorder, may be particularly prone to sadfish. Those with histrionic personality disorder feel compelled to get attention and exaggerated claims of distress are common ways they try to do so. As they chronically over-emphasize the dramatic, a genuine cry for help from a histrionic person will likely go unnoticed, like the boy who cried wolf.
Sadfishing can obscure a real need for help. It can also lead to accusations of just wanting attention even when the need is genuine. Given the risks and the sometimes blunt, confrontational world of social media, it’s better to have a particular safe person or friends to share with, privately and directly.
Damaris Aragon, ARNP, BC provides a full spectrum of mental health care to people in Spokane, Washington, and surrounding areas. She focuses on providing personalized, compassionate care that adheres to current evidence-based standards. Reach out to Damaris through her contact page or calling 509-342-6592.
