As the summer winds down, the slow progression toward the winter holidays picks up speed and for many of us, seasonal melancholy sets in. For others, depression hasn’t let go, not even in the bright, hot summertime. Depression is often a year-round burden that many of us try to shoulder completely on our own. After all, depression is at its core an isolating condition. It makes connecting to others more difficult. That isolation in turn makes asking for help even more challenging. 

We have to face it: asking for help is hard. It requires us to acknowledge our vulnerability and our very human need to rely on others. It can be so scary to do that many of us insist on soldiering on alone, suffering in silence, when we could get help just by asking.   The most important thing to do when asking for help is to do it. Don’t put it off waiting for just the right moment. Don’t worry about saying things perfectly. You don’t have to have a publication-ready script ready to recite. 

  1. First, pick someone who will take you seriously. They don’t have to be a psychological expert by any means. You’re looking for help within your own social network and the most important first step is to make sure they’re going to listen.This usually means that our family and friends are the first we can turn to.
  2. Next, don’t worry about diagnosing yourself. It’s good to tell a trusted person that you’re depressed, but it’s also legitimate to tell them “I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m not ok. Things with me are not ok.” It’s important they know that you’re not alright.
  3. Be prepared for your confidante to share some of their own experiences. It’s a gesture that means they want you to understand they’re taking you seriously.
  4. Be sure to let them know this isn’t a passing issue that will resolve on its own. It’s natural to want to downplay one’s troubles, but that’s not going to help.
  5. Sometimes it’s good just to let people know we’re going through difficulties. You may not need to have a specific request.
  6. If you don’t get the response you need, don’t lose heart. Chose another person and try again.

Damaris Aragon, ARNP, BC provides a full spectrum of mental health care to people in Spokane, Washington and the surrounding areas. She focuses on providing compassionate personalized care that adheres to current evidence-based standards. Reach out to Damaris through her contact page or calling 509-342-6592.