Valentine’s Day can be stressful for anyone, but it’s worse if you have depression or anxiety. Mental health issues can rob the holidays, even the smaller ones, of their fun. Valentine’s Day can provoke worry and anxiety, as well as make depression worse. For those of us with anxiety, the idea of having the perfect Valentine’s Day might be dogging our thoughts, laying on heavy pressure. Loneliness is another stressor that becomes more acute on Valentine’s Day. Depression and anxiety are already disorders that cause people to feel isolated. Faced with a holiday celebrating togetherness, people who are already feeling lonely grow lonelier.
With that in mind, here are some tips to make Valentine’s Day better:
Spread some love and start with yourself. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day as the day of love, we need to think of applying some love to ourselves. Loving ourselves can be very challenging for those of us with depression, anxiety or other psychological disorders. We often have a sense of not being good enough. We may feel like a burden to those around us and we hold onto feelings of guilt for past wrongs. Shedding that feeling of unworthiness doesn’t happen all at once, but it’s important to make a start on it by forgiving ourselves of the things we think we’ve done wrong, done poorly or failed to do at all.
Celebrate friendship. If you’re single, you can still partake in V-Day festivities. Consider having dinner with a close friend or other people who are stars in your life. You can go to the movies or the park, it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re enjoying the company of another person. Just hanging out with someone you like can brighten your Valentine’s Day. Don’t wait for someone to ask you, either. It’s important to reach out and get your needs met by taking action.
Manage your expectations. Holidays are full of hype and pressure. Society seems to want every holiday to be a kind of magical, transformative once-in-a-lifetime happening. That’s just not going to happen all the time, every holiday, but even if it were possible, the pressure would make sure it didn’t occur for everyone. Take that pressure off yourself and resolve to make it a good holiday, without any other conditions. For example, if you have a significant other but can’t get together with them on Valentine’s, make a date for another day to celebrate. You can plan to include all the usual Valentine’s Day trimmings, regardless of the day you get together.
Damaris Aragon, ARNP, BC provides a full spectrum of mental health care to people in Spokane, Washington, and surrounding areas. She focuses on providing personalized, compassionate care that adheres to current evidence-based standards. Reach out to Damaris through her contact page or calling 509-342-6592.
