Many millions of us in the USA are suffering from multiple losses resulting from the tumult of 2020. Hundreds of thousands of people are dead and millions are grieving those profound losses. During this difficult time, we are isolated from loved ones and the comfort of routine has been gone for months. In a sense, every one of us has lost a way of life, and it’s apparent now that things won’t be going back to normal for many months—if ever.
These are only some of the losses we are enduring:
- Loss of friends and relatives to COVID-19
- Livelihoods have been lost, some permanently
- Social lives
- In-person learning and education
- Special gatherings
- Day-to-day sense of normalcy and safety
- Community
- Peace of mind
- Feelings of numbness or being emotionally frozen
All the other causes of grief in normal times are still a reality, but dealing with them has been made immeasurably more complex.
Losses may be thought of in terms of primary losses and secondary losses. Primary losses are major events like significant illness or death. Secondary loss follows as a result of primary losses, like losing a job due to having a major illness like COVID-19.
How Do We Identify Grief?
You don’t have to experience the death of a loved one to deal with grief. It’s a phenomenon that can affect anyone who’s suffering a big loss.
- Feelings of shock or denial
- Lethargy
- Apathy
- Constant low-level anxiety
- Headaches, muscle tension
- Disturbed sleep—too much or not enough
- Marked changes in appetite
- Feeling emotionally numb
- Problems concentrating
- Feelings of anger or increased irritability
These are common symptoms of depression, but they’re also found in grief and bereavement. The big difference between grieving a person and grieving the loss of a way of life is in its specificity. Often, when major life upheavals strike, we are not aware that we are in fact, grieving.
Coping with Grief During COVID-19
Although we’re all feeling our way through these tough times, here are some tips for managing grief.
- Own your feelings. Understand that the way you feel is valid. You have a right to your pain.
- Be patient with yourself and remember there’s no timeline for grieving. In fact, there is no single “right way” to grieve.
- Powerful feelings of unreality are natural. When situations change rapidly with little or no warning, it’s common for people to feel displaced, shocked, or numb.
- Try expressing your grief through creative activities such as gardening, writing, cooking, or other arts.
- Try to create and observe a new schedule and stick to routine as much as you can. Structure can help reduce anxiety and uncertainty.
- Limit your use of social media and news. It’s easy to immerse ourselves in the endless stream of bad news. Instead, allocate yourself a set amount of time every day to get news and check social media accounts.
- Be kind to yourself. Watch your nutrition, sleep habits, and exercise.
If you are suffering from loss, Damaris Aragon, ARNP, BC provides a full spectrum of mental health care to people in Spokane, Washington, and surrounding areas. She focuses on providing personalized, compassionate care that adheres to current evidence-based standards. Reach out to Damaris through her contact page or calling 509-342-6592.
