There is no cure for clinical depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder. Psychotherapy and medication are the best treatments, but we have to take care of ourselves every day. It’s work, but no one’s mental health improves by being passive and hoping things somehow get better. Supportive self-care takes effort, but there are a lot of things we can do in that spirit that will help improve our mental health.
- Release old resentments. It can be hard to forgive those who’ve wronged us, but hanging on to bitter feelings poisons the mind and emotions. Understand that forgiveness and releasing resentment isn’t saying that bad things that happened to you are ok. It’s not saying that you want to renew a relationship with toxic people. Releasing resentment and anger is a means to stop wasting mental and emotional energy on people and situations that aren’t worth it.
- Forgive yourself for mistakes in the past. We forgive others, so why is it so tough to forgive ourselves? Everyone regrets things they’ve done, but ruminating on mistakes won’t undo them, won’t improve your life, and will absolutely make depression and anxiety worse. Feelings of intense guilt are common in people with depression. Why make things worse by lacerating your emotions with self-inflicted pain over the past? Forgive yourself and let go of the past by acknowledging past errors, make what amends are appropriate, and resolve to learn all you can from your mistakes.
- Be kind to yourself. We tend to treat others well, but people with depression often excoriate ourselves for little to no reason at all. We are forgiving of others when they fail, but we set high standards for ourselves that can become impossible hurdles. We flay ourselves with guilt over feeling too bad to get out of bed, adding more stress. On and on it goes, but consider: would you treat a dear friend the way you’re treating yourself? If not, think about being kinder to yourself.
- Adopt a “now” focus. There’s a big difference between enjoying memories of the past and ruminating. Rumination is a common symptom of depression and other psychological problems. Thinking about the past won’t change it. Instead, consider what’s going on in your life right now. What can you really change? Even if all you can control is your attitude, that still counts as something you’re in charge of. Dwelling on the past keeps us from paying attention to the things we can do right now that will make our lives better.
- Accept your feelings without judging them. Your feelings are valid and pretending they’re not significant, or worse, that they don’t exist, contributes to emotional pain. People with depression and other psychological disorders come to distrust their emotions; after all, they can be a source of great distress. However, emotions need to be felt without judgement. You don’t have to act on them and it’s important to remember that feelings pass. They aren’t necessarily a reflection of the absolute facts about anything, but they are themselves real. Always give them respect.
Damaris Aragon, ARNP, BC provides a full spectrum of mental health care to people in Spokane, Washington, and surrounding areas. She focuses on providing personalized, compassionate care that adheres to current evidence-based standards. Reach out to Damaris through her contact page or calling 509-342-6592.